02

Dear Subaru,

Happy New Year!

I wonder what 2013 will bring.

2012 wasn't what I expected. I had such high hopes only to be disappointed in the end. Life has been such a struggle and despite my best intentions it only seems to be getting harder. Sometimes I think that if this is the way it's going to be then I'm just done. Aren't things supposed to get better as you get older? Don't you find yourself, find success, find a partner, etc... as you get older? I'm 28 and I feel as lost as I was at 17.

But I won't give up. That's the one thing I can be proud of, my resilience.

Because as painful as it all is I know it's all for a reason. It's life giving me the opportunity to heal and make the realizations I need to in order to bloom, grow, and achieve my potential. But wow. I must be the most hard headed person in existence because it's certainly been difficult. The downs keep coming and I can't seem to get it right.

So 2013, how are we going to do this?

There's no time to waste.

The world is going through a critical time. It needs more happy people. It needs what each person can offer.

So I want to find what that is for me.
I want to find that place where I belong; where my life has meaning and value.
I want to make a difference.
I want to contribute to the good in the world.

Damnit, I want to be someone!

I was at the concert on 1/1 and I was blown away by how much love there was in that dome. When that many people come together with love it's pure magic. So imagine.... if the people of the world came together with one heart.. one love... (Bob Marley, anyone?!) how far could we go? Don't you think we'd be able to do anything? The possibilities would be endless! The power of Love is that strong. If the people of the world came together with joy, laughter, and love like we all did at the Kanjani∞ concert then we could achieve anything. We could change the world.

Subaru, you have so much power. You affect and inspire people. Kanjani∞ is a taste of what real love and community looks like. And it's a beautiful thing.

If only I could do that. If only I could be involved in something like that.

But what's my power? Where is my power? What can I do?

All I seem to do is feel strongly and long for things and that hasn't gotten me anywhere.

So 2013 will be my next attempt to get closer to that power I know is inside me.

2013 is the year I start to get my shit together.

I will be someone.
I will find love.
And I will make a difference.

I watch as you go up and up and I don't want to be left behind.

So, let's do this, Subaru.

Let's make 2013 a great year.

Thank you,

Aniella

すばるへ、

新年明けましておめでとうございます！

2013はどうの年になるのかな？

2012はほとんど期待はずれだった。いつも善意でやってるのに人生は苦労や不安ばっかりで難しくなってきた。もうダメだ何回も思った。年を取るにつれ人生が良くなるんじゃないの？年を取ると自分自身を見出す、成功を収める、恋愛も出来るはずじゃないの？私はもう28歳ですけど17歳の自分みたいに迷っています。

でも、諦めるつもりは絶対ない。
回復力しか持ってないな。

苦しい時でも意味あるから。苦しさは成長するのチャンスですから。
だけど、頑強な自分はすごい…　頭は本当に固くてまた落ち込んでくる。上手く行かないようにの時期にまた戻る。　

だから、2013年さん、どうやって行けばいいのかな？

無駄な時間はもうない。

人類は今重大な時期に生きています。世界は幸いで愛を溢れている人々が必要です。みんなのそれぞれの才能や才腕が必要です。

だから、私しか出来ないことを探しています。
自分の居場所がどこにあるか知りたくて、自分が存在する意味も見つけたい。
世界の役に立つことをしたい。

ひとかどの人物になりたいな！

１月１日のコンサートに行って、京セラドームの中でそんなに愛が溢れてたのは吹っ飛びました。沢山の人々の心が一つになれるとマジックは起こる。だから、想像して…　もしも世界の人々が愛で一つになればどこまでに行けるのか？何だって出来るの気がしない？不可能な事はもうなくなるでしょう。愛の力はあれ程強い。関ジャニ∞のライブに居る時みたいに世界の皆が愛を込めて明るくて笑顔で集まれば世界を変える！

すばる、あなたには凄いパワーがあるよ！多くの人々の心を動かすよ！
関ジャニ∞はそういうグループです。見習うべきグループです。

私もそういう存在になったら…

私の力って何だ？私のパワーは何処にあるか？私は何を出来るか？

今は憧れてて物事を強く感じることだけをしてる。このままでどこにも行かない。

だから、今年は私の中に必ずあるのパワーに近づいてみます。
いや、近づいてやる。

あなたがだんだん上がってきたのを見ました。
取り残されたくない。
追いかけるよ。
アニーも上がっていくよ。

よっし！やろうぜ、すばる！
2013は良い年になるように！

ありがとうね、

アニー